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Shiver me timbers! Here be a pirate meme!

(Pirate AU Meme)
Rules:
Leave a comment.
Others will roll a number at the RNG and reply to your comment.
Decide on your roles and play!
Threads of more than two are welcome and encouraged.
1. Boarded: Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured! Better hope the other captain gives quarter. Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim. That plank was made for walking.
2. Victory: You've captured another ship! You knew those extra cannons would come in handy. And let's hope they've got lots of swag! Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?
3. Swab the decks: You're a cabin boy! It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right? Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.
4. Marooned: For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood. As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions. Where are you? And who's that already on the shore?
5. Buried Treasure: Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one. Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship? Better make sure it's you.
6. Rum: Rum, everywhere.
7. Swordfight: It's that person you can't stand! And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without! Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever. Let's hear some swashes buckling.
8. Mutiny: The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter. There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it. The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.
9. Kidnapping: Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows. Brings a tear to your eye, it does. Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.
10. Take a Gamble: Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once! You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?
11. Under the Sea: You are now a Mermaid/Merman! That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms. Don't forget that they can't breathe under water! You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .
12. Enemy from the Deep: What was that? Did you feel that? An unseen enemy is about to take this ship swiftly to the bottom of the ocean. Giant squid, enormous whales, sea serpents . . . hope you make it.
13. The Doldrums: Can you say cabin fever? The sails haven't moved in weeks. You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom. And hopefully find some food and water. Don't squabble over it, now.
14. The Brig: Something you did has gotten you imprisoned in the very depths of this ship. How long until you see your next meal? When you see who put you here again, you'll make them pay. Hold on, maybe there's someone else here too.
OR
Make up your own! Arrrrr!
meme by

the best kind of problems
My deepest apologies. I'll turn myself in immediately, since I wouldn't want to disappoint you.
[ Except his actions belie his words, since he's already moved past him to drop a collection of charts onto the captain's table. It's taken him far too long to assemble the information, really. He's getting sloppy in his old age. ]
Your kirin loudly and completely respectlessly disagrees
Is Shoryu worth such effort?
Unfortunately.]
A few weeks in a cell somewhere might at least make you reconsider your sloppy methods. [He can't quite stop the corner of one eye twitching as he narrows them, kicking his legs in the air. It was, really, the time it'd taken Shoryu that had spurred Enki to come looking. Sloppy, indeed.]
Though knowing you, you'd only use that time for useless woolgathering. Not that you're good for much else, really. [Rokuta huffs, glowering at his king's broad back with an intensity that - hopefully - hides the concern.]
Or is the issue that, being old and lacking resources, you've been limping along behind all the other ships like a three-legged horse on a broken cart?
[Understandably, the few letters sent hadn't been couldn't have been) very informative, so even if Shoryu had gathered the information he needed, getting reinforcements would be hard. So, frustrated and maybe a little concerned, Rokuta had come looking to ask questions.
And glare. A lot.]
but then what's new there, really
How fast could I go without a donkey of my own? I'm sure I'll pick up the pace from here on out.
[ They'll find some way of integrating him with the crew, he's sure. There are plenty of young hands underfoot already. ]
nothing, but at least there's a bigger chance you listen to him than anyone else
Hope you can care for said donkey, then, 'cause donkies sure aren't like this wooden tub of yours. Where'd you get it, anyway, your mother's bathroom?
[At least he can't repeat the awkward situation of insulting the king of Kei, since there's only the two of them in the large cabin, so Rokuta feels safe in taking that tack while he kicks the chest he's sitting on.]
i'd like to see proof of such wild accusations
[ He finishes sorting the papers, selects one to tuck into his waist sash, and finally turns to regard the kirin lounging around on his belongings. With exasperation entirely unfeigned - or so it seems - he gestures him away from the chest.
It gives Enki a chance, hopefully, to process the implicit instructions. ]
I'd like to see you say no to this face; how's that for proof?
[Scoffing, he makes a point of remaining on the chest for a moment longer before he jumps off, hands behind his head as he crosses the cabin as if he hasn't already explored every inch of it, and ends up jumping up on the table instead.
Why sit on a chair when there's other, perfectly usable, items of furniture to sit on?]
I pay attention fine when I have to, old man, but when every other word out of your mouth is about the cargo which I'm pretty sure you sample more than just to see that it's quality, instead of something more useful...
[Rokuta waves a hand in the air, quite soon realising what Shoryu is intending. Well, if he's staying instead of going off for backup, at least he can make sure Shoryu is all right for whatever happens next.
... the thought of any possible battle with the pirates they're looking for, however, briefly makes him grimace, swallowing back bile.]
no one can accuse en of having a spoiled kirin huh
[ He'd been gone for two more council sessions than he'd initially planned, after all. Tempers among the inner cabinet were likely high.
He watches his kirin pick another unsuitable piece of furniture with a sardonic quirk of one eyebrow, but makes the most of the freed chest lid to stash the charts and retrieve a small, silk-wrapped scroll. ]
I saw this and thought of her. Perhaps you can take it back next time we make port.
He gets what he's due, that's all. He IS one of your subjects~
Uh-huh. There's been a lot of yelling lately, so I thought it best to see if I could expedite your return. [Then he grins, all too cheerful about having ditched the increasingly loud rants of Itan and Shukou's sharp, quiet comments and smiles which just reveal how tightly wound he's getting.
Seisho's at least a little better, but not by much.]
You really need to finish up this haul soon, 'cause I don't think my poor ears can take much more of her temper. She gets even more obnoxious when she's worried.
[Now, he finally can't stop himself from giving the scroll another look.]
You think that's gonna placate her at this point? Really, you are stupid.