OPEN POST: Kabru - Dungeon Meshi

[partywipe]

I'm up to date on the anime and read all the manga! If you'd prefer to avoid any manga spoilers please let me know.

Comments

TFLN - 31/5

[partywipe]

[overflow from here!]

1. You handed me your bra at the tavern and said 'hold my purse'

2. We almost died tonight... We almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far

3. This guy keeps making punchlines about a cockatrice he fought and I never want to hear another cock joke again. or jokes about getting hard. or snakes

4. Well you were hungry, and then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers

5. Text him!

@ repasco

[partywipe]

[continued from here]

If you cant remember the table you were at, are you sure you're going to remember the route you took to get there?

We were on the table in the far corner, near the window.

@ escardos

[partywipe]

[continued from here]

Assassination attempts? why?

[escardos]

oh it’s a really weird thing my parents do. they’ve tried to kill me a bunch of times so i have to keep getting away from them 🙄

[partywipe]

why would they want you dead? I assume you're not just saying that as a figure of speech

[escardos]

oh there’s lots of reasons! like that one time as a child i brought back a monster egg and it hatched into a poisonous three-headed serpent.

or that other time that i blew up the kitchen doing an experiment.

or the time that i tried to summon a demon because i thought it’d be cool.

anyways! it terrified my parents and i had to run away from home! they’re still chasing after me though. man, they’re persistent! 😅

[partywipe]

[should he like. join forces with Flat's parents.....]

wow, that IS pretty scary... did summoning a demon work?

@ dungeonsdriveinsanddives

[partywipe]

[continued from here!]

What kind of courtship display do you think would work?

[time to see if Laios has any concept of what 'human courtship displays' entail. at all???]

[dungeonsdriveinsanddives]

I'll have to show you! It involves lowering your arms, strutting, scratching the ground, and bobbing your head.

I'm thinking if we can each do that on either side of a cockatrice at the same time, we can see if it distracts both heads. Then we can slay it.

[partywipe]

Lowering your arms and head anywhere near a monster sounds like an easy way to get killed.

[dungeonsdriveinsanddives]

But what if it works??? We could discover a new way to get close to cockatrices!

[partywipe]

And if it backfires and we both die? Or worse, get petrified?

[dungeonsdriveinsanddives]

Hmm. It will just have to be perfect. Maybe we should wear feathers.

[partywipe]

[weird how Laios is suddenly left on read! maybe Kabru is just busy...???]

@ unscrap

[partywipe]

[continued from here]

I thought so, but it wasn't me. [mithrun seems like a lightweight, and kabru would just have to deal with the consequences, after all......] how are you feeling now?

sorry i had irl issues!

[unscrap]

fine

[ . . . . . . . give him a moment ]

hungover, i think
my head hurts

no worries! hope rl has chilled out for you

[partywipe]

Drink lots of water and get something to eat, you'll feel better

[except kabru has a mental image of him flopped down somewhere and doing neither of those things,]

Need me to come over?

it has, ty!!

[unscrap]

[ ................ he is absolutely still in bed, yeah ]

i havent eaten
or drank water

[ that's the answer you get, kabru ]

[partywipe]

[ah... figures]

omw
can you let me in when I get there? or leave the door unlocked

@ sickofmonsters

[partywipe]

[continued from here]

but then they'd get soggy... I guess there are tradeoffs

@ oldsole

[partywipe]

[continued from here]

Falling statues.

[oldsole]

[Typing, typing, he's typing, wow, this typing is going on for a while, he must be writing a long message.]

That's a new one.

[More typing, typing, gosh, he's got so many thoughts.]

Falling statues in the somebody pushed them on your head way, or falling statues in the they're some kind of monster, I'll have to pull my party away from them before they try to bite off their legs sort of way?

[partywipe]

Probably the former, but I didn't get a chance to see who was responsible. If they were trying to kill us and snatch our valuables, they must've ran off fast when we managed to dodge them.

[oldsole]

You know, you're probably right. It wouldn't make sense if they were monsters.

[Don't ask why it makes 250% more sense that there's people involved. Unpleasant truths should remain unspoken.]

Maybe it's someone you pissed off?

[partywipe]

Haha, now who would be angry with me? 🥺

[time to find out if chilchuck has dirt on him?? gotta watch out for this one]

[oldsole]

[He really shouldn't. But.]

Plenty of people? Weren't you the guy who stole someone's fiancee or was that a different guy named Kabru? I heard something about that.

@ fray

[partywipe]

[continued from here]

Yeah. You know, like double entendres?

[fray]

[ After a lengthy pause... ]

Can't say I'm familiar with that.

[partywipe]

They're jokes that have a double meaning. [not going to elaborate if he doesn't get it......]

What kind of jokes do you like?

[fray]

[ Considering the crew just tells him not to hurt himself when jokes don't land with him— ]

I'm not the joking kind, I guess.

The story makes more sense if he wasn't serious.

[partywipe]

Yeah. Unfortunately for me, he wasn't as funny as he thought he was...

[fray]

They seldom are... So I hear.

[ A jab at his own deficit in humor? Yep. ]

Monsters don't seem all that funny to me.

@ lumberlady

[partywipe]

[continued from here]

of course I do! I wasn't about to throw away a lady's 'purse'.

Do you want me to bring it to you later?

[lumberlady]

yes please i request this

will cook meal! big and good and for after drinking head

you has? head?

[partywipe]

after drinking head... do you mean a hangover?

I'm fine, but I appreciate the thought :)

[lumberlady]

is i's meaning, yes! after drinking head

even if fine

i still cook

yes?

what is desired food?

[partywipe]

I don't want to impose too much, so it depends what ingredients you have. something with tomatoes?

[lumberlady]

is returning valuable underclothes… is not so much?

I cook for husband each day so is not trouble also yes






also will cook more if promises given not to tell husband you has valuable underclothes

[partywipe]

Promise! I don't want to cause trouble for you or give your husband the wrong idea, after all.

[lumberlady]

no no no

will not give husband uncorrect thought! KABRU is human yes right?

just is husband will think

oh! i is bad husband! i allow wife to get into such trouble when i is not here, such guilt such line on brow

like so, you also imagine?

[partywipe]

I understand! I don't want to cause him any worry, especially when it was just a silly mishap.

I'll find a way to give it to you discreetly, so he won't notice anything's amiss.

[lumberlady]

is

was silly?

yes?

in honesty…

is having trouble remembering… ?

2

[fishfearme]

Yes, but we didn't die so all is well. To dwell on it will just cause needless anxiety.

[partywipe]

It doesn't bother you at all? You don't at least take time to reflect on how it could be avoided for next time?

[fishfearme]

Only briefly. But that exact scenario is unlikely to occur in that same exact way, and death is always close whether we like it or not. Best for it to find us with unburdened minds, rather than twisting ourselves into fearful knots over an inevitable certainty.

[partywipe]

[is that profound or is byleth just stupid,]

You make it sound so easy haha. Have you been in these kinds of situations a lot?

[fishfearme]

Almost every day. It's fine, though. I get many second chances.

[partywipe]

You ARE very skilled, no doubt about it.